I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
