Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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