Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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