I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
