Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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