someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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