you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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