You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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