He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
BRING THE BAGELS
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
