my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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