So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
