I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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