I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
