i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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