Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize