Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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