i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
