The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
