so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there was a trapeze. enough said
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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