Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
