i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
