HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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