About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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