Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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