i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
