I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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