Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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