bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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