i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He shit in the fireplace
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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