i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
