ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Semen is not good for contacts.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
