New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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