I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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