so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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