I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
