all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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