So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
