I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
