I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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