Nicole vs. Life
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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