I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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