I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just google imaged poop.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
