ugly people sure do ruin things
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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