I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
