There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
