So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
