I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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