I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dick very happy bro
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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