Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
