I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
