it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
