everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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