I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
