Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
