Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
