Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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