I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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