Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize