Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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