Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
