yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
