The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize