It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
