maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I need water and some morals
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
